Saturday, March 4, 2017

Devalued Robot?...

The Powerful Job of Motherhood, Be Careful  What You Trade It For.            

Today's society finds it terribly easy to dismiss the stay-at-home-mother as lowly and unambitious. Our culture seems to usher mom right out the door toward a "real job" as opposed to validating her for being with the developing life that desperately needs her. This discounting concept of motherhood not only devalues her commitment but also devalues the critical needs of her children. Being available for a family's needs doesn't always match a work  schedule!

Stay-at-home-moms don't get paid ($) for their tireless work at home but if they are lucky enough to have a spouse who works for money then their focus can have financial balance. Single mothers, however, have little choice in these matters as their finances are usually compromised from the start in the aftermath of divorce,  death or unplanned pregnancy.
Is this job valuable enough to get paid?

As we begin to re-evaluate the critical impact of stay-at-home moms the words of Jill Savage enlighten us. "Homemaking happens when we fully understand the value of a home in our lives. Homemaking happens when we unintentionally make a home a safe house, a trauma unit, a playground, a pep rally, a school, and more. Somebody has to have the time and energy to bring those roles alive in a family's life. Somebody has to make a house a home......" 

But first, before anyone worries that I am advocating a return to the old patriarchal systems, let me clarify by saying that I champion every success of the  Women's Movement as equal rights are human rights. It is almost impossible to imagine that women could not own property could not weigh in on the direction of our country, could not vote, could not own a locket given to her by her grandmother and had to give birth on the kitchen floor while biting down on a wooden spoon so they would not disturb anyone. A smart culture cannot allow one gender to reach for the sky while chaining the other to the ground. My question here is this... maybe..... just maybe.... we may have been too anxious to shed the very job that kept us lowly for centuries instead of properly repairing the status of that important role of respect and feminine magnificence......Motherhood.

For the power of a mother's love secures the psyche of the child fostering hormonal patterns of attachment and trust that continue on for the rest of his or her life. For there is only a short window to make this impact and after that window closes it will be much harder to try and comeback later to make the good stuff happen! 

With regards to all the intangible gifts that moms provide isn't is interesting to see that when mom's do go back to work they want child care providers to be a lot like a mother---caring and protecting our children while we are away? What we're really saying is "I can't be here right now so I need someone who will replace me while I'm gone but for a cost! You see I can't get paid for this kind of work so I have to leave my child and pay someone else to do it." It is a duplicitous message if you know what I mean!

I found it reassuring that other countries like Sweden, reward the parent that stays home with an allowance married or not. They realize that an investment into healthy children is in the best interest of any country. As broken or impoverished families struggle to bring up their children in the U.S.A. the "The foster-care-to-prison pipeline" is a constant reminder that we must strengthen all our families or we will pay in the form of more crime.

There is a movement in Sweden to add more to the already existing is called the "Network for Stay at Home Moms" and it currently has more than 20,000 signatures! An article in the Swedish "Hemmaforaldrar" Blog by Andre' Anwar promotes the Network. Good on those brave mamas!

It would be grand if our culture was readily able to address a widely troubled family demographic and repair our views of the reliable stay-at-home mom. If you agree please let me know in the comments section.


  1. So glad to see some validation for the hard work moms do. I hope the U.S. can take a cue from family friendly Sweden.

    1. I hope so too! Thanks for your important interest!

  2. This is good we need to stop devaluing the jobs of motherhood. So many people ask me what I do and when I tell them I am a mother they immediately disrespect me. Some say, "But what do you do other than being a mom" as if being a mom is not enough?
    I am lucky to have a husband who really wants me to be at home with our children. I don't thimk I would have the energy to do both but I commend everyone who does. Chandra

  3. It is so refreshing to hear that you have a partner who values your commitment as a mom and even more how much you value it. It is true you may hear how much people devalue this job by inferring that this contribution is simply not enough when in actuality it is one of the hardest there is. You can't just log out of being a mother and we never know what is coming around the next juncture or what problem solving skills will be needed. A tough job-- so be well and forge on sister!

  4. With an already over-burdened National Budget, it is doubtful that mothers will ever get paid for their hard work at home, though great policies might actually help our economy if you look at what we pay for in repairing what has gone wrong in families.

  5. Oh Yes, so true! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and I am sure the costs to repair broken families and troubled kids is a far greater one than providing strength right up front when it is needed. I believe we would actually save a good deal of money and humans by educating and funding motherhood up front. Your point stirred my research and a similar project ran in Canada where they decided to build the homeless small basic homes and the economic costs went down. They found that by supplying basic needs there were less health care costs, less intervention needed as these struggling people now had a place to begin to take care of themselves. A sink for washing and a shelter in the freezing winters. Some shaved and bathed for the first time in years and by looking in the mirror a few began to try to work.


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